


Journey's End: Working Out the Kinks

by shinkonokokoro



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Drama, F/M, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-07-08
Updated: 2008-07-08
Packaged: 2017-10-24 02:59:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/258176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinkonokokoro/pseuds/shinkonokokoro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose is left on the beach for a second time, this time with hope attached to her hand. Only... She's not sure how to make this work with the new Doctor. And he's not quite sure how being human works either. There are a few kinks to work out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Jacks! You're back!" Pete said, hurrying into the front hall as Jackie Tyler opened the front door of the house.

"Yeah…" Jackie gave him a tired smile, flicking the light switch on.

"How did it all go? Rose? What happened?"

Giving her husband a hug, Jackie was silent a moment. "Tony?"

"Asleep upstairs. So?"

"I'll let Rose talk. She'll be along in a minute."

Pete Tyler stepped back. "What happened?"

"Oh, don't worry, luv, she's fine. She's not hurt at all. She's—"

"Stop it!" Rose said, yanking her arm away from someone as she walked in the door.

"Rose!" A smile bloomed on Pete's face. "What happ—What are you doing here?" He asked incredulously, the Doctor coming into view, Rose brushing passed him, heading towards the stairs.

"Pete Tyler!" The Doctor smiled. "Hullo! Great to see you again! I—Rose! Wait! It looks like I'll—oh bugger…" He ran a hand through his hair, falling silent.

"What—Jacks? What is he doing here?" Pete asked, looking very confused.

"Rose darling, wait up a minute, sweetie!" Jackie called to her daughter already half-way up the stairs. She looked at Pete and shrugged apologetically. "Sorry, Pete. We'll have to explain it all tomorrow. We're tired, and it's nearly twelve thirty. We just hitch-hiked all the way back from Norway."

"Norway? What the hell were you doing in Norway?"

"What, mum?" Rose looked over her shoulder at her mother.

"I think I need to know what's going on," Pete said authoritatively, taking Jackie's hand.

"Tomorrow, Pete, tomorrow. Doctor, we don't have anywhere for you to stay, so go ahead and stay with Rose. She's got a nice big bed."

"What?" Rose cried. "With me? Mum! Are you mental!"

"Don't argue with me, sweetheart. We'll figure it out tomorrow. Doctor, go ahead and share with Rose."

"Oh. Well, are you sure? I mean—" He rubbed the back of his head to cover his surprise. "I could just as easily sleep on the floor—well, I mean, a couch would be fine, well—"

"Doctor, shuttit. Don't argue with me, and go ahead and follow Rose to her room."

"Jacks, are you mad? What are you thinking?" Pete burst out.

"Hush! Tony's sleeping. We're all tired. Just listen to what I say, and we'll figure everything out tomorrow. Right? Well, go on." She gave the Doctor a push towards the stairs, putting a comforting hand on her husband's arm.

* * *

Rose hurried up the stairs, unshed tears burning in her eyes. This wasn't how it was supposed to end up. This wasn't the way that it was supposed to be! She was supposed to stay with the Doctor. This man… this other person wasn't him. _Rose Tyler, I love you…_ He'd said. She knew he loved her, but hearing him say it… She kissed him happily. But… It hadn't felt right. And then her Doctor left. He left without ever saying anything, without letting her ask him all the questions that she had… Damn it!

"Rose!" The Doctor whispered loudly. "Rose, wait!"

"Leave me alone!" Rose hissed, turning to face him from the doorway of her room. "Don't talk to me!"

"Rose, please just listen. I—"

"No, _you_ listen, Doctor," Rose said lowly. "I don't want to talk to you. Please leave me alone. I'll give you a pillow and a blanket and you can sleep on the floor. I am _not_ sharing my bed with you, and I—" She broke off, the broken look on his face heart-wrenching. "Doctor…"

"No. No, you're right. I'm not… I'm not _him_. But I am. Rose, I'm still the same!"

"No you're not." Rose turned away towards the darkness of her room so he wouldn't see her face. It's true he would grow old with her, and he loved her. But where was his tardis and sonic screwdriver? What would he become, living, growing old, day after day, living the one adventure that he was never able to have. Until now? How would that change him? She heard him sigh heavily into the darkness.

"Rose, we'll talk about it tomorrow, alright?"

"Get out."

"What?" She could hear the blatant surprise in his voice.

"Get out. I need to change."

"Oh. Right." He turned sharply and left the room.

"Doctor."

"Yes, Rose?"

"Go ask my dad to borrow a pair of pajamas."

"Ah. Right. Of course."

Rose shut the door, the tears slipping down her cheeks as she tried to keep her sobs quiet, sliding down against the door to the floor. Why did he just leave? He couldn't have stayed? And what about that Donna woman? What was she to him? Rose curled in on herself, leaning against the closed door. It wasn't fair! She'd spent so long looking for him, and she'd just found him! Why did he have to leave again? Why did _she_ have to leave him again! It wasn't fair! She could have just… stayed on. She had been committed to leaving her family behind before. Her mum would understand… She would…

"Rose?" There was a light knock on the door. "Rose, are you finished?"

"No, I'm—um…" Rose stood quickly, moving to her dresser, grabbing a pair of pajamas. "No, I'm not. Just a minute. Just wait a minute." She stripped and threw the pajamas on, flipping the light on and examining her face in the mirror, using a tissue to wipe away the smeared mascara and eye-liner. "Alright. You can come in." She smoother her hair back from her face, planting her hands on her hips with the thought to look casual as the Doctor opened the door and walked in hesitantly.

"Ooh! I like it! Nice room. It's very… It's very you."

"What's that mean?" Rose asked, harsher than she meant.

He looked over at her, putting the little figurine back down on her dresser. "Mean? Oh, nothing. It's just very you. Full of your… personality. Your you-ness. Your being. Your—"

"Alright!" Rose took a deep breath. "Alright. I get it. Go to bed. I'm tired." She looked at him, her eyebrow arching slightly at the sight of her father's pajamas on the Doctor. She'd just noticed. He still had his other clothes tucked under one arm, balled up.

"What?"

"God, you're hopeless. Give me those." She grabbed the clothes, dropping the bundle on her bed, shaking them out and refolding them. "It's a wonder your clothes isn't wrinkled all the time…"

He opened his mouth to say something in protest, but shook his head, leaning back against her closet doors, deciding now wasn't the time.

"How you even manage without someone…" Rose said quietly, trailing off.

"I guess I need you more than I thought," he replied quietly, his eyes watching her carefully.

"Alright. Enough of that. Go to bed. Here's a pillow, and there's a blanket on the window seat." She tossed him the pillow and then turned away, setting his clothes on her desk chair before climbing into her bed and tucking the covers up to her chin.

"Good night, Rose," the Doctor called quietly, stretching himself out on the floor rug.

"Good night," she answered almost grudgingly.

* * *

"Rose! Get up, sweetheart! It's nearly one o'clock!" Her mother's voice carried through the walls and floorboards to her room.

Rose sighed, pushing the heavy covers aside, pulling the pillow over her head.

"Doctor! You too, sweetheart!"

Rose sat straight up, her eyes going wide. Was she stupid! How had she forgotten! Where—

There was a groan next to her. "'s morning already…?"

"What are doing in my bed?" Rose shrieked, pushing the man. "Are you mental! Get out! Get! Out!"

"Alright—I'm, I'm going!" The Doctor mumbled, rolling out of the bed, still half asleep. He stumbled around, bumping into her bed-side table in the process, several things clattering to the floor.

"Oh, now look what you did, you great lout…" Rose groaned as she got out of bed and walked around to the other side, crouching next to the Doctor. She picked up her brush and the pencil, putting them back on the dresser. "What you got there?" She peered around the Doctor's arm to see what he held.

"You've still got it," he said quietly, touching the object in his hand, his expression soft.

"What are you—Oh…." Rose fell silent. "Well of course I kept it. I…"

The Doctor turned to her with a soft smile. "Good. I'm glad you kept it.

Rose took the key from his hand, wrapping both of her's around it. "It was the only thing I had… It was the only connection I had, to that world, when I was trapped here." She touched the TARDIS key, much in the same way the Doctor had. "And now…" she continued on a sourer note, "I'm still stuck here."

The Doctor held his hands out in appeal "Rose, come on—"

"ROSE! Come down for lunch! Doctor!" Jackie's voice cut through their conversation.

"Alright! I'm coming, a'right!" Rose shouted causing the Doctor to lean back from the noise. She looked at him, her face blank. "Well, let's go."

"Awrighty then, allons-y!" He gave her a grin.

Rose smiled sardonically. "You're not going to win me that easily."

"What if I pouted? You always accused me of pouting, but I wasn't really pouting—that was just brooding, because Timelords most certainly do _not_ pout, you see. Would that—"

"Doctor."

"—work?" He grinned and waggled his eyebrows. "Yes, Rose?"

Rose sighed and shook her head, the harsh words she'd had for him dying. "Let's go." She led the way down the stairs to the kitchen. "Good morning, mum."

"It's bloody afternoon, darling! 'Good morning,' my arse!"

"Jackie!" Pete covered Tony's ears quickly.

"Oops… Sorry. Oh, I'm so sorry!" Jackie rushed to her son, picking him up and nuzzling him as she cooed.

Rose shook her head, an affectionately amused smile curving her lips. "Oh, mum… You're ridiculous."

"What? I haven't had a baby in twenty years! It's exciting! I'm allowed to be a mum!"

Rose laughed, her father joining in. "What's for breakfa—lunch? I mean lunch."

"Help yourself," Jackie said, taking Tony from Pete. "You're old enough to fix yourself something."

"Alright, alright." Rose disappeared into the cupboard, returning with a box of cereal, holding it up so the Doctor could see. "This good for you?"

The Doctor looked at her with a grin. "Sure! You know me, I _love_ to eat. I'll eat whatever you give me."

Rose's expression was almost amused. "Riiight…" She poured two bowls of cereal, handing one to the Doctor along with a spoon. "So what's the plan, Dad?"

"Well, I think for one, I ought to hear the whole story."

Rose sighed. "It's a long one."

"Well, we've got the day. Come on; let's go sit in the family room." Pete stood, putting his dishes into the sink and heading into the other room.

"Oh yeah! That's mmm a gweat i'ea!" the Doctor agreed around his mouthful of cereal.

Rose rolled her eyes and followed with a heavy sigh. It was going to be a long day…

"So you see… I'm rather stranded—well, I wouldn't say 'stranded' as that implies that I'm completely left behind, which I really am not—well, I kind of am left behind but, well. I would say I'm sort of stuck, left, deposited, yes deposited, here. I'm deposited here." He gave Pete a large smile, sticking the last bite of his third bowl of cereal into his mouth.

"Rose…?" Pete said, looking to his daughter of another universe in confusion.

"Yeah, it's all true. That's basically how it happened. So he's….gone off, and this Doctor his here with us. I'm to look after him… To… 'make him better' is what he said." She looked out the window, her arms folded across her chest.

Pete nodded slowly. "Right." He sighed and mirrored Rose's pose. "Well, I guess we'll have to find a place for you then." He looked to his wife who gave him a bright smile and nodded. "Oh good. Well then." He chuckled suddenly. "We can probably give you a job at Torchwood, since—"

"Torchwood!" The Doctor cried, nearly dropping his cereal bowl.

"It's different than on Earth, Doctor," Rose added. "I work there. It's not so bad."

"As I was saying, since you're quite qualified to identify alien technology, and such," Pete finished.

"Hah. You'll have a _job_!" Rose said smugly.

The Doctor stared at her in horror. "Blimey, that's frightening. Well, so long's I don't have to get a mortgage." He shrugged, watching her reaction from the corner of his eye, pleased by the small tender smile she gave.

"Right. Well. I'm off to shower," Rose announced, hopping to her feet. "And _don't_ even _think_ about coming _near_ the bathroom." She glared at the Doctor, violence flashing in her eyes.

"Yes, mum!" The Doctor gave her a solemn salute, relaxing as soon as she was out of view and up the stairs. He sat back down with a sigh. "Thanks for the jim-jams, Pete. 'Preciate it."

"Of course." Silence fell over them, the sound of water running through pipes sounding overhead.

"Well, we'll have to go shopping," Jackie announced. "You'll need a wardrobe. We can set you up in the guest room. It's right next door to Rose's room." She smiled at him, bouncing Tony on her lap.

The Doctor made a face.

"What?" Jackie asked, confused as usual.

"I'm becoming domesticated…"

"Oh that happened a long time ago, darling," Jackie assured him. "Don't worry about Rose. You'll work it out."

The façade slipped and the grief came through. "Yeah… Yeah." He gave her a lop-sided smile twisted with sadness. "Yeah, I hope so."

Pete stood and walked passed, clapping him on the shoulder. "Don't worry about it, Doctor. She'll adjust."

"What do we call you now? I mean, should we still call you 'Doctor'? I'm fine with that, I just didn't know if you wanted to go by something else," Jackie said, pre-empting the Doctor's words.

"Oh." He said instead. "Well. I never thought about that." He leaned back in the chair, grateful for something more inane to think about. Rubbing the back of his neck, he looked up at the ceiling. "Well, I guess I'll just go by 'Doctor' like I always have. Or well. You know."

Jackie nodded. "Right. Oh, Tony…" The boy slipped from her lap, half-walking, half-crawling over to the Doctor, pulling himself to his feet by the Doctor's pant-legs.

"Oh. Well. Hullo there." The Doctor smiled down at the small child.

The boy looked up at him and gave him a large grin.

"Ha! Lookit that!" He looked over at Jackie who laughed and shook her head. "Whoever knew you'd be good with kids!"

"Oi! Wait a minute! This does _not_ mean that I will be babysitting!" The Doctor protested with a look of panic on his face.

Jackie grinned as she stood and headed out of the room. "Well, Doctor, since you're here, I think you would make a wonderful babysitter! Be back in a moment!"

The Doctor looked down at the boy with a morose sigh. "Being domestic is going to be rougher than I thought…"

"Doctor! Doctor!" Jackie's voice called from elsewhere in the house. "Here's some clothes for you to wear, since your things are dirty! Come and put them on and we'll go out shopping!"

The Doctor groaned, and stood dutifully.

"Oh, and grab Tony for me, would you? Bring him up! Rose, get yourself ready; you're coming too!"


	2. Chapter 2

Three hours, seven stores, two credit cards, and six shopping bags later, Jackie led the trio home, still exuberant after the shopping adventure. "Pete! We're home!" She called excitedly.

"Good, I was getting hungry…" the man muttered.

Rose raised an eyebrow at him. " _You're_ hungry…? You didn't have to traipse around after mum all afternoon. I'm _starved_." She walked passed him to collapse on a couch in the living room.

"Rose! Your shoes! Get them off the furniture!" Jackie commented.

Groaning, Rose kicked her shoes off without moving. "Are we going to order out again, or are you going to make something, dad?"

"I'll… I dunno. Where's the Doctor?" Pete replied distractedly.

"Oh… I don't know. Doctor!" She yelled back out the door. "Where are you!"

There was a grunt and a crash from the garage, followed by mutters. He appeared a minute later, laden down by the shopping bags. "I miss Time Lord technology…"

Rose looked over her shoulder and burst out laughing. "Now _there's_ a sight I never thought I'd see!" Her parents joined in her laughter and even the Doctor's frown quirked into a semi-grin.

"Well, now we've got to see it all on you!" Jackie said enthusiastically.

The Doctor groaned. "You'll see it when I wear it. I refuse to participate in any sort of 'fashion show.'"

Jackie smiled at him. "Well, be a dear and why don't you go shower before din. I'll put something together. Rose, help him carry those bags upstairs to the guest room, sweetheart, and make the bed in there."

Rose hauled herself to her feet and took a couple of the Doctor's bags and led him upstairs to the guest room. "Sorry 'bout my mum. She gets that way. She's always wanted to dress you. Since you wear the same thing all the time, you know."

"Ach… I should have known…" He grunted as he hauled the heavy bags up the staircase.

Rose pushed the door open to the guest room and raised the blinds to let light in after putting the bags on the window seat. She disappeared down the hall and returned with a set of linens for the bed. "Here ya go. You _do_ know how to make a bed, don't you?"

"What?" He protested, looking miffed. "Of course I do." She turned to leave. "Of course, it'll go faster with two people…" He waggled his eyebrows at her and grinned. "What do ya say?"

"Oh alright." Rose picked up the mattress cover and handed him the other side, making a surprised noise as he grabbed her around the waist suddenly, pulling her closer, kissing her soundly on the lips. Writhing in his grasp, Rose pushed him away roughly. "What are you thinking!" She shouted at him, feeling her face go hot. "Make your bed by your bloody self!" She stalked out of the room into her own, slamming the door shut. That idiot! It wasn't like him at all! What was wrong with him! Rose took a deep breath, calming herself.

"ROSE!! Doctor!! Dinner time!" Jackie yelled.

Rose cringed. Ridiculous. Rose hurried down the stairs before the Doctor left his room. "Mum! Stop treating us like we're five!" She muttered some more to herself, helping to set the table before sitting down. Maybe it was time to move out…

"Oh, Rose," Pete said, half-way through dinner. "Did you want to return to work tomorrow?"

"Hm?" Rose looked up at him, her fork in her mouth. "Work?" She chewed and swallowed. "Sure, I guess."

"Good, good. Doctor, you're more than welcome to come also. Rose can show you around, and we'll find something for you to do."

"Wait a minute! Why am I his personal nanny? What is it with you two?" Rose glared at her parents, setting her fork down.

"I think it's a great idea!" The Doctor answered with a bright smile. And that was the end of it.

* * *

Rose spent the rest of the evening in her room, falling into bed early, passing out nearly as soon as her head hit the pillow.

_Rose… Rose, take care of me…_

Take care of yourself…. She thought tiredly. You're a grown man. 904 aren't you…?

_Yeah… But I need you, Rose. I need you to watch after me._

That makes no sense.

_You're always watching after me. You've saved me more times than I can count._

But that was different…

_It's no different now. Just start all over again…_

_Start all over…_

* * *

Rose woke, the dream fading quickly. She rolled over and turned her alarm off, frowning as she sat up. Ugh. Headache _and_ stomachache. Her monthly was only a week away. Her hormones were out of wack. Just what she needed. The dream had disturbed her, but she didn't have time to dwell on it as she got up in search of advil and got ready to head into work. She headed passed the Doctor's room on the way to the bathroom and knocked on his door. "Get up, you lazy. We have work."

Rose passed the closed door again on her way to her room after doing her make-up and dressing. "Oi! Doctor!" Silence answered her. "I'm coming in." She pushed the door open, snickering. He was sprawled out on the bed, the night shirt bunched up to his armpits. "Doctor. Doctor! Get up!"

He muttered in his sleep, rolling over, arms wrapped around the pillow, holding it to his face.

"God, you're useless…" She grinned, amused, glad he was still asleep. She left and returned to his room with a cup of water. She dribbled some on his exposed stomach, pleased with his startled yelp, laughing uncontrollably as he got twisted in the sheets and fell onto the floor.

"Rose Tyler… That is highly _un_ amusing…" He glared up at her.

"Good morning, sunshine. We have work," she said sweetly. Turning on her heel, she left his room and went downstairs in search of some breakfast.

* * *

"—and this is my desk. So you know where to find me." Rose looked over at the Doctor, planting her hands on her hips in annoyance. "Oi. Are you paying any attention to me in the slightest?"

"What? Oh. Right. Yes. Your desk. Find you," he turned to look at her quickly and then looked away, characteristically rubbing the back of his head as he frowned. "You know, is that an energy particle handler?"

Rose shrugged. "Beats me. Look at it later. There's a bunch of stuff here that we have no clue about. I'll show you where the storage rooms are. Follow me." She turned and headed down the long corridors to the warehouse area, swiping her card in front of the access pad, the light flashing and the door sliding open.

"Ooh, fancy," the Doctor commented, slipping his hands into the pockets of the jeans that Jackie had bought him the day before. He was also wearing a pair of brown loafers (the red converse carefully tucked away in his closet), and a white button down shirt, the long sleeves rolled up passed his elbows. Rose had to admit that it did look incredibly appealing on him.

"Here's one of the rooms with stuff that we have no idea what it is." She flashed her card again and the door clicked open. She pulled it open and walked in. "Be sure to prop the door open with something or else we'll get locked—" Rose sighed heavily. "The door just shut."

"Aah… Well. Yup. It would seem that it did…" The Doctor grinned sheepishly.

Rose growled to herself, pushing her bangs out of her face. Great. _Exactly_ what she needed this morning. Walking over to the door, she pounded her fist on the cold steel. "Hullooo! Is anyone out there! We're locked in!" She waited a moment and then turned to him. "Doctor, would you—" She broke off and took a deep breath. "You don't have your sonic screwdriver."

"Ah, no."

"Bloody _wonderful_!" Rose threw up her hands. "Now we're stuck here."

"I didn't know!" He protested casually.

"They have to notice we're not around eventually…" she replied glumly, patting her pockets. "I left my cell on my desk too…"

"It's alright. This gives us some time together. Right?"

"Since when have you ever been the optimist?" She leaned her head back against the wall and slid to the floor.

The Doctor was silent, perching himself on a nearby crate.

"You really _are_ useless, you know," Rose said dully after several minutes of silence. She pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them.

"What? Naaaaah," the Doctor drawled with his usual levity. "I wouldn't say 'useless,' perhaps rendered ineffective, temporarily out of commission, momentarily off the ball, not—"

"Without your sonic screwdriver and the TARDIS, it's like you're missing half of you," Rose murmured, examining her fingernails dispassionately. She really needed to get rid of the chipped polish…

The Doctor was silent, his expression hardening with something akin to grief. She'd hit too close to the mark.

"She's your other half, isn't she… Now you're only half of him," Rose continued, fixing him with a gaze that told him everything.

"You blame me!" he said incredulously, in a flash of insight. "Rose—"

"What am I? Your bloody nanny? He asked me to look after you—and I'll do it—but why couldn't I go with him? Am I just here to clean up his messes? To take care of his rejects?" she demanded with an angry toss of her hair.

"I'm…" The Doctor trailed off, hurt crossing his face before being covered by a carefree façade. "Course you're not my nanny, you're—"

"If you're him, explain to me why, then." She glared at him, the hurt angry tears glistening in her eyes. Maybe she was going too far, but the words kept coming, wanting to hurt him, so he'd know how she felt. This jealous catty feeling was unlike her, but Rose went with it. "I want to know why, Doctor. You owe it to me. Why am I second best? Why am I dropped here with _you_ , a reject. A faulty product. Explain, please. After all, we've got plenty of time."

The Doctor stood with a sigh, his back to her so she wouldn't see the anguish on his face. "I love you, Rose Tyler. _He_ loves you. We're the same, except I'm part human. I can grow old with you. We can live together. Imagine how it was for him to let you go. He didn't want to. But he couldn't take you with him. And he couldn't stay here. He belongs in that reality, just like your place is now here."

"I didn't _want_ him to let me go!" Rose retorted hotly, swiping away her tears as her pride deteriorated.

"But he _had_ to, you see!" The Doctor whirled to face her, his face twisted with emotion. "He _had_ to, because he doesn't belong in this parallel world. He couldn't have me tagging along, and you belong with your mum, who would probably find someway to kill me if I didn't bring you back to her like I promised, and you'd have no future with me, traveling around, and if I took you with me, then I'd just have to watch you grow old and die, and that would be too hard, Rose Tyler! It would be too bloody hard! What I said way back then is completely true: I want you to have a fantastic life!" he rushed out, his hands balled into fists.

Rose stared at him, her first Doctor's words crashing down on her. Not knowing what else to do, she dropped her head onto her knees and sobbed.

"Rose! Rose!" The Doctor rushed to her, kneeling at her side, his hands hovering around her, unsure what to do. "I mean it…"

"Why…" she murmured through her sobs, her voice cracking. "I didn't want…to be left behind… I was searching… I was looking all that time… I tried so…" she hiccupped. "I tried so _hard_ to find a way back to him…!" Her body shook as her emotions broke through, vocalizing them hurting so much more than merely thinking them.

"Rose…" Pain seeped through the Doctor's voice. "Rose, he did it so at least I could be with you… You understand, don't you…? It was all selfish. He couldn't stay here, but he loves you, so he wanted you to be happy. It might not be the way you wanted, but it works out for everyone but him. He's the one who ends up unhappy. But he wanted _you_ happy. And I…" His voice caught as he leaned forward, wrapping his arms around her. "I want to make you happy, Rose Tyler. I want you to smile for me, right? That smile you always gave, Rose? I want that back. None of this teary nonsense, eh?" He pulled her tightly to his chest. "I'll even get a mortgage for you…"

Rose gave a choked laugh through her sobs, leaning against his chest.

"I'm sorry I'm just the reject, but with me you can make a life! Rose, we can be together, you know…? You remember? When we talked—we thought we were stranded on that planet circling the black hole? We'll get a house, I'll get a job… We can even share…"

Rose half-sobbed, half-laughed into his chest, uncurling enough to wrap her arms around his waist. "But what about you…? What about the TARDIS? What are you going to do without her?"

The Doctor paused, taken aback. Was that what this was all about? He smiled. "Baaah, I don't need her. A man's only supposed to have one woman, right?"

Rose pulled back and looked up at him, her make-up horribly smeared, still the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. She gave him a hesitant smile. "And your sonic screwdriver…?" She lifted a hand to wipe away her tears.

The Doctor took her hand, wiping them for her tenderly. "Well. There's enough technology here that I could probably make a new one, well, or I could make something like it. It wouldn't be the same, of course, but I could probably put something together." He grinned.

Rose grinned back hesitantly, recognizing his eagerness. Maybe he wasn't so different from her Doctor after all… Maybe… Maybe he deserved half a chance. "Alright then… Mr. smarty-pants… Let's see what you can do with all of this junk."

The Doctor stood with his characteristic grin. "Yes ma'am. Absolutely ma'am! Right on it!" He rifled through the boxes for a while as Rose sniffled and fanned her face, embarrassed slightly by her outburst. She found something metal and set it up, attempting to fix her make-up, slightly regretting she hadn't used the waterproof stuff, and embarrassed for thinking so. She sighed and gave up, no longer caring. "Anything you need me to do, or anything I can help with?" She asked, leaning over the Doctor's shoulder. She waited for his response, rolling his eyes as she saw his brow furrowed in concentration, scattered parts around him. She walked around him and squatted down, noting with amusement, his tongue poking between his lips as he worked. His face was a mask of concentration, but his lips were pulled up in a sort of smile, joy in putting something together.

"Rose, would you hand me that…" He swung a hand behind him, pointing at an object sticking out of a box. "That ion stream converter/analyzer—"

"The round thing with the coloured buttons. Got it." Rose stood and wrestled it from the crate, handing it to him.

"Ah! Brilliant!" He grinned up at her in a familiar way that made Rose's heart ache all over again. "Always know just the right thing!" He looked back down and continued with his work. "Oi, you haven't happen to have—ooh, I like that, haven't happen to have. Right. Have to say that more often. Ah, a pen. You haven't happen to have a pen on you, do you?"

Rose patted her pants pockets and shook her head. "No. Oh wait!" Her hands flew to her hair and she pulled a pen out of her bun, the hair falling loose around her shoulders.

The Doctor blinked at her, breaking into his heart-stopping smile. "Will you lookit that! Oh you _are_ brilliant, Rose Tyler."

She handed it to him. "It's convenient. It holds my hair up, and it's there should I need one and I'm not at my desk…" She looked away, feeling almost awkward at his praise. "Well, I'll….um…" She ran her hand through her hair and adopted a more no-nonsense expression. "I'll go over here and see what else I can find that might be useful." She turned to walk away, dropping her hand, stopping as it fell into his.

"I mean it, Rose Tyler. You are brilliant." He looked up at her, his hand warm around hers. "Always have been. That's why I need you with me. You always know just what to say."

This time, Rose _did_ blush. "Doctor…"

"No really," he said earnestly. "Really, Rose."

"Alright already. Lookit you… making me blush, you grease monkey…"

"Hey now! Cheeky!"

Rose laughed and pulled her hand from his to ruffle his hair. "I hope you don't go bald for a long time… It would be a shame to lose all of this hair."

The Doctor grinned at her and waggled his eyebrows. "Good thing for me, then, that I've never been bald! Well. The first me you knew was rather lacking in hair, wasn't he. Well. He had hair. Short. But hair. Yes. Yes, I've always had a rather hairy head." He grinned again.

"Well thank goodness for that," Rose said exaggeratedly, placing the back of her hand against her forehead.

"Right. Don't worry. I'll have us out of here before you can say Raxacoricofallapatorius! Or well… perhaps not re—"

"Doctor. You'll get us out." Rose gave him a smile. "I'll just wait for you to save the day, as usual."

The Doctor looked up at her and grinned, his eyes bright and warm. "Ohh yes!"


	3. Chapter 3

"Doctor. Doctor, why isn't it working?" Rose leaned over his shoulder as the Doctor attempted to open the door with the new make-shift sonic screwdriver.

"I don't know…" His brow was furrowed in concentration. He straightened, banged the thing a couple of times and flicked the switch again. Nothing.

Rose sighed. "What's wrong with it?"

"I don't kno—OH!" He smacked himself in the forehead.

"You know what's wrong with it?" Rose asked hopefully.

"Ohh yes! I'm brilliant! Of course! All I need to do is reattach the central ion fluctuator and add a bit of that bithsanium metal back there, and then use the field methaline conductor and switch around the metal shie—"

"Doctor. As much as I adore you talking tech-y on me, could you just—" She gestured with her hands. "Could you just, you know. Fix it. So we can get out of here?"

The Doctor stared at her a minute. "Oh. Right. Of course." He grinned and then sat back down by his pile of mechanical scraps, fixing his new sonic screwdriver. "This one doesn't have as sleek a design as my last one, of course, but it should do the trick."

"And you should be able to fix it when we get out of here too," Rose added.

"Right. Of course." He quietly became absorbed into his project. "Aha!" he exclaimed about twenty minutes later. "Done! It should work now!" He bounced to his feet and hurried to the door.

Rose was at his shoulder, waiting with anticipation. "Good, it's getting stuffy in here, yeah?"

The Doctor gave her his patent grin and flicked the switch. It whirred and thirty seconds later the door made a low clanking noise, sparks flying everywhere. "Hah! Brilliant! Aren't I just brilliant! Definitely needs some fine-tuning. And definitely needs to be prettied up, but it works!" He grinned widely at her.

Rose laughed and gave him a hug. "You great lug, I knew you'd do it! And there! Lookit! You've got yourself a new sonic screwdriver!" She pushed at the door. "Doctor? Doctor, the door isn't moving." She pushed harder.

"Hold up, hold up. Just a minute here." He slipped the sonic screwdriver into his pocket and slammed his tall frame into the door which gave a groan of protest before opening slowly. "Here we go…" He ground out, slipping out the opening.

Rose followed, taking a deep breath of relief. "Here we are. Thought I'd be stuck in there with you all day."

"Would thatta been so bad?" He looked at her guardedly.

"What? No, it's just that… Well. You know." She gave him a flippant smile. "I have work to get done. And I would have had to use the loo at some point…"

The Doctor looked away almost awkwardly. "Right…" He looked at her again, perked up. "Well then! What next?"

"Oi… They'll need to get the door fixed; I'll have to fill out a report," Rose mused to herself, back in business mode. "I'll need to get back to my desk. We'll find you something to do, yeah? We can probably have you identify stuff, since you'll know what most of it is. We can do lunch in about an hour, if that's alright with you."

The Doctor nodded quietly, both hurt and impressed by her attitude. Clearly this type of thing was old-hat for her. "Right. Well. We going out for lunch? Or how does that work?"

"Oh right. I'll take you out to a nice little fish'n chips place." She gave him a smile. "Come on. Let's walk and talk." She waved a hand and headed back towards the cubicle area. "We'll have an hour for lunch, yeah? I'll talk to Cindy. She's our pay-staff manager. She'll get you on the payroll." Pausing, Rose spun, giving him a brilliant smile. "Then you can treat _me_ to lunch, yeah?" She laughed quietly and took his hand continuing down the hall.

The Doctor smiled to himself, giving his head a small shake as the headed back to civilization, hands swinging between them.

* * *

The Doctor worked at Torchwood, becoming accustomed to the in's and out's of the company, spending his days identifying random technology that the higher-ups brought to him. Most days, he and Rose went out to have lunch at the 'nice little fish'n chips place' she'd told him about the first day, which just so happened to be called Queen Victoria's Fish'n'Chips. He and Rose laughed about that.

To the rest of the world, and most of Torchwood, he went by Doctor John Smith. The familiar alias seemed empty this time, since he was no longer just putting it on for a short while, instead using it more permanently. It bothered him. The Tyler's and other close friends all called him Doctor, as they always had. And the new name even allowed for 'Doctor' to be a nick-name. But it was a nick-name to the outside world, and not his real name. That was the part that bothered him. Rose still slipped up every so often, and they blundered their way through the situation. 'Oh, it's just a nickname.' 'He used to be a doctor.' 'He likes to pretend he's a doctor.' 'He really is a doctor, just not of medicine.' There were a myriad of excuses.

* * *

"Good morning, sleepy head," Rose said from the table as the Doctor blundered into the kitchen, his hair a mess, eyes still bleary with sleep.

He muttered a response, shuffling to the cabinet for a box of cereal. He went through the motions of preparing himself breakfast, finding himself seated at the table without really knowing how he'd gotten there. He glanced at Rose and then did a double-take. "Why aren't you dressed? We've work in just short of a half-hour. I can get ready in five minutes, but you aren't even—"

"Don't worry about it," Rose laughed. "We're on vacation. We've got the week off."

"Week off?" The Doctor looked at her, confused. "What for?"

Rose shrugged. "Down time. Time to relax. We can go out somewhere nice for a change, you know. We could see a show. We haven't really done that. Mum'd know if there's a good one playing. She keeps up on all that stuff, you know. Tony—"

"Ah yes, Tony," the Doctor said darkly. "Little bugger's got a set of lungs on him. I'll say that. Though I'm not surprised he inherited the Tyler capacity for sound and volume. He must have had some sort of awful ailment last night."

Rose chuckled. "Ah. Bad dream. He seems to have those periodically. Mum is trying to let him get through them on his own."

"The boy's almost four! He could use his mum."

"Mm. I dunno. It worked for me. And I turned out fine, yeah?"

The Doctor shook his head. "So what are we going to do with all of this free time?"

"Well, today, my mum and I are going to go shopping. You and my dad can watch Tony. Have some time together, just you blokes."

The Doctor looked terrified. "What!"

"Yeah! Mum thinks it's a good idea, and dad doesn't mind. And you've been working all this time, yeah? So it'll be a good chance to relax."

Glaring down at his cereal, the Doctor took a vicious bite. "I think your mum has been having one too many 'good ideas' lately."

"Hey now! Don't insult my mum!" Rose stood and walked to the door. "Don't worry, I'm sure you'll survive. After all, you've been through worse, yeah?"

"I dunno…" the Doctor said dubiously. "They aren't called the 'terrible three's' for nothing. I don't know if I can handle the troublesome mine of a toddler."

"First of all, Doctor, it's the 'terrible two's,' and you'll have my dad there with you, so you won't have to face the toddler alone," she said wryly. "You'll be fine. Now, if you excuse me, I'm going to go get ready."

The Doctor muttered some more under his breath. "Yeah, yeah. Have fun."

By the time Rose and Jackie got home late that afternoon, they found three very tired boys, sacked out on the couches of the living room, Tony curled across the Doctor's chest, sucking his thumb.

"We'll have to break him of that habit," Jackie said quietly, fetching the camera.

"Hm?" Rose glanced at her mother. "What? Who?"

"Tony," Jackie replied, snapping a few pictures of her husband and then the Doctor. "Can't have him sucking his thumb. You know they say that's actually bad for their teeth?"

Rose shook her head with an amused smile, returning her gaze to the Doctor and her little brother. "He's adorable."

"I know…" Jackie smiled softly. "Tony'll be a handsome bloke when he grows."

"The Doctor, mum. I was talking about the Doctor."

"Oh right! Of course… Well. Dinner?"

Rose nodded and they had a quiet dinner, letting the boys sleep.

* * *

"What? No!"

Rose nodded.

"Really? Nooo!"

She nodded again.

"Planned running? For exercise?"

She nodded a third time, tying her hair back. "Yeah You're getting a bit thick around the waist, Doctor. And I haven't run in a while. I thought we could go together."

"What? Thick about the waist!" He looked down at his middle, pinching his sides. "I am not!"

Rose smiled, walking up to him, patting his abs. "Just a bit. Running'll take care of though. Let's go."

"Well, that doesn't make any sense at all. I've never been thick about the middle—well, I wouldn't say 'never,' I would more say that _often_ , or more _recently_ I haven't been thick about the middle. I still don't understand the idea of planned running though. I mean, really? If you're going to run, then it should—"

"Doctor. Shut it. Go put on a pair of those loose jersey shorts that mum got you a while ago. And find a t-shirt. Something you can sweat in."

"Sweat?" The Doctor looked at her, mildly horrified.

"Let's go!" Rose clapped her hands, shooing him towards the stairs. "We have to get going."

Disappearing up the stairs numbly, the Doctor returned in aforementioned clothing and they were off.

"You know…" The Doctor puffed fifteen minutes later. "I don't… really know… how it is… you run like that… This is… horribly shameful that… I can't… keep up… and I'm… puffing and huff—" He took a deep breath. "Huffing like…this…"

Rose laughed. "I won't be too hard on you this time. You've only got one heart. You're used to two. Pumps more blood, I assume." They went on a bit before she added, "Though I _do_ find it a bit entertaining that you're so slow. At least now you know how your single-hearted companions feel when then 'run' with you." She grinned at him smugly.

"What?" The Doctor cried. "Don't be… ridiculous! That's just… preposter—"

"If you can make it passed the library, then we'll stop and I'll buy you something to drink, yeah?"

"The library! That's… so far!"

"Well,…" Rose trailed off, grinning at him slyly. "What if I were to say that I'd snog you senseless too?"

At that, he perked right up, grinning madly. "Well, if _that's_ part of the deal…. Then I'll… go right along! …Library it is!"

The Doctor made it passed the library. Barely. Though Rose rewarded him handsomely for it, making good on her word.

It became a habit, then, for the two of them to go running when they had days off, which Rose enjoyed until the Doctor was able to keep up with her. After that, it became more of a comfortable ritual during which they spent quiet time together.

* * *

The week passed quickly, and then they were back to work. Rose's job frequently kept her close to her desk in the main area of the Torchwood building, while the Doctor's job mostly kept him back in the mammoth, maze-like confines of the storage rooms, cataloguing, identifying, and filing the strange items on which the people of Torchwood had managed to get their grubby paws. Some of the items he had discovered had both frightened and awed him, to see that it was held by humans. There were a few things, like a working vortex manipulator that he couldn't possibly let the humans have. Knowing that they'd never miss it, the Doctor secreted it away into a pocket and brought it home with him. There were several other items with which he had done the same. The ironic thought never crossed his mind that he himself was now human.

Life settled into a pattern this way. He and Rose left for work early each morning during the week, spent their time, and then returned home again together. The weekends would come and he and Rose would run together, occasionally going out to a show or a nice restaurant for a date. However, with Jackie, Pete, and little Tony, it was more of a domesticated family situation than the Doctor would have liked. And while he appreciated her family for all they had done for him, past and present, he was stuck. His relationship with Rose, while they were in that house was stuck. There was no room for the two of them to be an 'us.' However, he was inclined to wait for Rose to make the suggestion of moving out, seeing as she had spent a fair amount of time away from her family and deserved the time together with them.

Luckily for him, the idea came out a few weeks later, about eight months after he had begun living with them.

"Mum… I was thinkin', ya know…" Rose began casually over breakfast, as if she was nervous about broaching the subject.

"Oh _that's_ not a good sign," Jackie replied distractedly, fixing Tony's breakfast.

Rose rolled her eyes, but continued, keeping her eyes trained on her cereal. "I was thinking. It's been a bit too crowded here, you know. I love you guys, but I think it's time that I—we moved out."

The Doctor looked up, surprised.

Catching his movement, Rose looked over at him. "What? Don't tell me you weren't thinking the same thing."

"No, no, well, I mean yes. Yes, I was, but—"

"I've actually been doing some looking around, and I found a place that's not too far, so we can still come visit often if you want, and it's close to work which is convenient. So…"

"Okay," Jackie replied simply with a shrug. "I was expectin' you two to move out soon anyhow."

Rose looked up, an expression of mild surprise on her face. "Really? You're okay with that?"

"Of _course_ , sweetheart! I only want you to be happy!" She flashed a coy smile. "And with this bloke around, I'm sure—"

"Mum!"

Jackie laughed as the Doctor covered his face to hide his faintly blushed cheeks. "Oh, go on, Rose. Go ahead. It's about time I didn't have to cook for that one anyway," she said, jerking her head at the Doctor.

"What about Dad?" Rose asked.

"What about him, sweetheart?"

"Will he be upset?"

"Rose, you're a big girl. You've got to move out of the house at some point. I'm sure he'll insist on checking the place out though, and probably paying for it," Jackie replied with a tsk-ing noise. "You know how your father is…" She puttered around some more before leaving the kitchen.

Sneaking a glance at Rose, the Doctor noted her wistful smile. She knew this father, but perhaps if the Pete on her Earth had lived, he would have ended up somewhat like this man who bore his name and image. The Doctor shook his head with a fond smile.

"What are you smilin' about?" Rose asked almost sharply in the silence.

Looking over at her, the Doctor smiled still. "What? I need a reason?"

Arching an eyebrow, the corners of Rose's lips turned up slightly as she responded. "It's suspicious is all."

"I love you."

Rose looked at him sharply, all of her wandering attention now focused on him. "What?"

The calm smile still in place, the Doctor chuckled. "Oh don't say it like you're that horrified to hear me say it."

"No, no… That's not it…" Rose said evenly. "I was just… surprised to hear you say it… say it so casually."

"I don't mean it casually," he responded quietly, looking up at her with his dark serious eyes.

Rose gave him a quick smile and stood suddenly, taking her dishes to the sink. "I have to get ready for work." She walked by him, hesitating, and then kissing him softly on the cheek as if by way of apology, though for what he didn't understand.


	4. Chapter 4

Pete ranted and raved about the move out, but it went smoothly in the end—he had the place checked out, the neighbourhood, and even haggled the price down, putting the first six months rent down for them. He spoiled Rose further by paying for internet and cable. She drew the line at offering to go shopping with her. That was something she needed, and _wanted_ , to do on her own.

"I'm home!" she called. "Doctor?"

"In here!" His voice echoed through their empty quota of space.

"I've got some food for the next few days, but we sorta need everything else, you know?"

Turning as she entered the room, he grinned at her, sitting in the middle of a pile of metal scraps in the giant empty room. "'ello!"

Rose made a face. "What on _earth_ are you doing?"

"Oh, well, we rather _are_ on Earth, aren't we… Oh well—Upgrades!" His face was lit up like a child's with a new toy. He held up an object resembling a pen. "It's the sonic screwdriver 2.0! It has more settings—remember the setting for concrete? Well now it does concrete (of any thickness), asphalt, plastic, brick, steel, glass, linoleum—"

"Linoleum?" Rose interrupted skeptically. "What for? Why would you need to use the sonic screwdriver on linoleum?"

He grinned in response. "Who knows! But it might come in handy some day, and linoleum is such a good word—linoleum! Linoleum, linoleum…"

Rose rolled her eyes, but couldn't help grinning. "A'right, a'right. What else?"

"Of course you can see its sleek new design, and! It's quieter!" He flicked it on, and the trademark scree-ing of the sonic device was indeed greatly muted.

"That's great! Where'd you get all this stuff to make it though? I didn't think you'd be able to find what you needed on Earth to make a new one… It looks right snazzy though," she said, leaning against his shoulder as she knelt next to him.

"Oh… Bits of this and that," he said breezily. "But it'll be great! I've also increased the variety of platforms in can access so it includes a greater array of uses!"

"Doctor…" Rose began, her voice light with amusement. "Have you been filching stuff from the Torchwood archives! No! You have, haven't you! Go on, you have!" She laughed as he had the sense to turn away, slightly abashed.

"Well, I wouldn't say filched—it's more like screening. Yes. I've been screening what's been catalogued, because _really_ , not everything is safe for the humans to handle. I mean, there are some things they shouldn't—not _handle_ , but some things that aren't good—right—proper—safe—proper? That aren't proper for them to handle—well, they aren't _ready_ to handle them yet."

Rose laughed again, eliciting a grin from the man next to her. "Relax. I'm not going to tattle."

"Oh good." He adopted a stern demeanour. "Because otherwise I'd have to take the strictest of action… Now what was it you wanted to say?"

"Hm?"

"When you came in. You'd been about to say something."

"Ooh! Yeah." She stood. "Come on, you. We need to buy furniture. Dad insisted on giving me some spending money since I wouldn't let him go shopping with me. And since he's paid for most everything else, I've still got plenty in the bank for whatever else we need. Come on. Let's go."

"Now?"

"Yes, now. When else?"

The Doctor blinked. "Right,… well… Um. Okay."

Hoisting her purse back up onto her shoulder, Rose gave him a look. "Well, if you don't want to go, I'll pick everything out myself."

"No! No. I mean, no. No, that's fine. I just… Alright!" He pulled his limbs together, standing. "Allons-y!"

Shopping for furniture, it turned out, was a whole different type of experience that required an intense level of attention and observation, compare, contrast, and memory, as well as a few other facets the Doctor hadn't been aware of before this.

"Ugh…" He groaned softly as they entered the fourth store. "This is a _whole_ new level of domesticity. Me! Shopping for furniture…!"

"Look, if you're not interested, then I'll do it myself!" Rose exclaimed, whirling to face him with a glare. "And you'll be happy with whatever I get, yeah?" She stalked off towards the shop girl who greeted her, all smiles.

"No… No, I'm not… Rose…" He sighed tiredly and followed after her, giving the girl a smile and his hand. "Hi… I'm with her. John Smith."

"Hello, Mr. Smith!" The woman gave him an overly large smile the Doctor was sure was meant to be appealing. Instead, it just showed too many teeth and too much gums. He winced. "So you're looking for furniture…? Let's start with beds, yes? Please follow me…"

Rose gave her head a toss, sending him another less-than-pleased eye-brow raise before turning on her heel and following the shop girl.

For the Doctor, who hadn't always experienced time linearly, the monotony of domestic life was almost smothering. He ran frequently now, partly for his pride—both to be able to keep up with Rose when they ran together, and also to keep his waist trim—but also to work off the extra energy he had. Staying in one place was making him stir-crazy. His mind conforming to deal with the simpler tasks of everyday life as opposed to solving the universe's problems left him with extra energy that running helped compensate for, making him physically weary enough to have a decent night's sleep. And the idea of a mortgage still gave him theoretical nightmares. Luckily, they hadn't graduated to that; renting out the flat worked well enough for their needs.

Other needs, however…

As soon as their furniture arrived, Rose and the Doctor agreed, though somewhat hesitantly on her part, to share the king-sized bed they'd purchased.

The first night, neither slept well, going to work that morning with bleary eyes, dark circles underneath. Rose had fallen asleep some-what fitfully, nervous to have the man she loved finally lying next to her in her bed, even if they _were_ fully clothed. The Doctor meanwhile, was very much awake, aware of the slightest move the blonde made on the other side of the bed. Sharing a bed was a new and different experience, one, judging by the first night's lack of success, he wasn't sure he wanted to repeat. He decided, however, to give it another try, knowing Rose was just as uneasy about this as he was.

And it got easier. A week later they made love. Wild, passionate, and almost real, Rose felt her heart swell with love for the man on top of her. As she breathed his name in release, she felt that this could possibly work.

"Rose…" He began as she drove home from work that Friday.

"Yeah? What is it? What's wrong?" She glanced his way a moment before returning her eyes to the road.

"Wrong…? Oh no, no, no; nothing's wrong. I was just thinking…" He ran his hand through his hair casually. "How about we go out to dinner tonight? Some place nice."

"Yeah…?" She glanced at him again, her lips curving up into a pleased smile. "I'd like that. I'd like that a lot."

"Oh. Good! Good, good! So when we get back to the apartment, put on something nice and fancy (oh, the TARDIS's wardrobe would be _so_ handy just about now) and then we shall leave, depart, go out, vacate our habitual abode," he said excitedly snapping the 't' and drawing out 'abode' longer than the normal human _which_ , Rose reminded herself, he really wasn't.

She grinned, infected by his enthusiasm, his charming side making her giddy. "Where are we going?" She couldn't help another quick glance, her heart melting just a bit more at his wide grin.

"That! Is for me to know," he waggled his eye-brows at her, the grin turning mischievous "and for you to find out when we get there!"

"Oh come on. Really?"

"Yup!" He leaned back in his seat, popping the 'p' and folded his arms smugly across his chest.

"Well _you're_ lucky I'm driving…"

"Oh really?" He arched an eyebrow.

"Yeah. _Otherwise_ , I'd be torturing the info out of you," she threatened good naturedly.

"Baah…" He drawled. "The reservation is for seven, so you should have plenty of time to shower, do your face, and all of that female stuff."

"And you, Doctor, need to shave."

"What? Really?" He pulled down the visor, inspecting his jawline in the mirror. "You don't like the bit of scruffy I've got? I think in another two days it'll be quite impressive—though I can't be sure in this reincarnation; I've never before been much for facial hair—"

"Then get rid of it," Rose said flatly, her dislike clear.

"It could quite possibly be charming. What d'you think?"

"Shave it, or _I_ will," she threatened.

He blinked at her and then quickly announced his agreement on her opinion.

The Doctor was ready in significantly less time than Rose, so he settled himself on their new couch, propping his feet up on their new coffee table and picked up one of Rose's magazines to pass the time.

"Doctor?" Rose called. She walked into the hall. "Doctor, which shoes do you think match better?"

He turned, looking over the back of the couch to see. He flashed his blinding grin at her. Her heart fluttered. "They both look nice."

She rolled her eyes to cover the fact that he made her flustered. "That's not helpf—"

"But I like the strappy ones," he finished, looking up at her eyes.

She blushed. "Thanks." Rose turned and vanished back into their room, kicking the pumps she wasn't going to wear back into the closet. Her heart fluttered again as she thought about the way he'd smiled at her. Rose nibbled on her lip at the thought of their date. It'd surprised her, but she was excited about it now. They hadn't done anything together in a while. Well, Rose admitted to herself reluctantly, she hadn't exactly been attentive. She should treat him better. Tossing her hair, she flashed a smile at herself in the mirror and then exited the bedroom to find the Doctor waiting for her with an offered elbow.

"Shall we, Rose Tyler?"

Rose looked down to hide the smile on her lips, but she knew he knew it was there. "Yes. Let's."

Dinner with Rose, the Doctor discovered happened to be the best thing he'd decided to do thusfar. She laughed at his jokes and flashed those heart (only the one)-stopping smiles. He leaned forward across the intimate table for two, mindful of the candles. "So. What d'you think?"

She leaned forward as well. "Of what?"

"This..." the Doctor waved a hand at their surroundings. "Good choice?"

"Mm..." She gave him a scrutinizing look. He only wanted to hear her say it. She could indulge his ego this once. So she smiled. "Yes. I love it. It's very quaint and charming."

"Good." He took her hands. "What would you like for dessert? They have excellent banana splits, I've heard!"

Rose laughed. "I don't even _like_ bananas all that much."

"What?" He looked horrified. "Rose Tyler! You take that back!"

"And if I don't?" She arched an eyebrow, the tip of her tongue poking between her teeth as she grinned.

The Doctor sat back with his own raised brow and folded his arms. "There might just have to be punishment!"

"Empty threats, Doctor. As usual."

"Well, my timorous beastie, perhaps this time, I'll carry through." He waggled his eyebrows, pulling out the Scottish brogue.

She forced a laugh, running a hand through her hair. "I'll be right back," Rose said suddenly, the hurt in her heart rising up like wild flames. "Got to use the loo." She flashed him a smile she thought was natural and then rushed off, asking a nearby waitress for directions.

Slamming the door shut, she leaned against it, willing herself not to cry. He'd notice. She knew he'd notice if she cried. Rose gasped for air, clenching her fists against the door. How did it get this bad. It was getting better. Honestly. Things were getting better, she was getting used to him, but then he'd say things like that and all of a sudden the pain would rush back. Nails digging into her palms, the physical pain felt better. She could deal with that. She didn't know how to deal with the man who was the Doctor and yet still a man. He was the constant conundrum—a word he'd enjoy.

Pinching her cheeks, she stood, patting under her eyes and checking her reflection in the mirror. She looked fine. Rose put on a smile and found it acceptable before going back to the man who was a doppelganger for the man she loved with every bit of her.


	5. Chapter 5

"Sweetheart?" Jackie said quietly, walking into the kitchen. Jackie was visiting after work for the first time in several days.

"Yeah mum?"

"Sweetheart, are you happy?"

Rose looked at her mother, surprised. "Mum! What does that mean? Of course I'm happy."

"Rose…" Her mother gave her a knowing look. "I just want you to be happy sweetheart. I want—"

"Mum, stoppit. I'm fine. I _am_ happy."

"That's why you're tryin' to convince yourself, is it?"

"No," Rose replied with an exasperated sigh. "I…"

"You're pushing him away." Jackie stepped closer.

"What?"

"You are. You're pushing him away, Rose. If you don't stop, he'll leave."

Rose forced a blasé laugh. "Mum, don't be daft. We're fine. We're happy together. It's fine. You can stop worrying."

Jackie gave a quiet sigh and shrugged. "Take care then, darling. I'll see you later."

"Ta." Rose nodded, her back to her mother, waiting for the sound of the door closing.

"He's the best thing you've got. Don't push him away, Rose."

"Don't worry. I'm not." But she was. Oh she was. And she realized it. It was hard to love him, even as it was hard not to. But she couldn't have it both ways. If she pushed him too hard, he _would_ leave, and he _would_ drift away. They were already drifting. Looking down at the cutting board, Rose felt her eyes begin to burn. Damnit! Leaning back from the counter, she looked up at the ceiling to stop the impending tears. The Doctor would be home again soon. She checked her watch. One and a half hours.

Looking around the kitchen, Rose took inventory. The h'ors d'oevres were ready, the wine glasses were clean and setting out. The roast was in the oven and would be finished on time. The rest of the cheese was cut, everything was cleaned and tidy (or behind closed doors—goodness knows the Doctor had way too many unfinished projects), she was dressed and made up. All she needed was her hose and shoes. Everything was ready for the Torchwood dinner party. Except for the wine. Of course they had forgotten the wine. When they went to the grocery store, they'd argued and thus forgot the wine.

"Rose?" His voice carried through their flat as she heard the keys drop on to the small table next to the door.

"In the kitchen," she replied blandly. They were arguing too much lately. Rose knew it was probably her fault.

"I got the wine."

"Of course, darling. Bring it in here and put it in the cooler."

His footsteps heralded his approach. "I got a Vitrola red and a cabernet sauvignon."

"A good brand, I hope?" She kept her back to him, moving the cutting board to the sink to wash it.

"Of course. Don't worry. Though they won't know the difference, they're good stuff. You know, Vitrola isn't around in the other universe? Here, he's a rather important grower and distributor originally from Italy, but moved to California?"

Rose looked at him over her shoulder, his gaze on the bottle, half pulled from a brown paper bag. "Fascinating..."

"No need to be harsh," he defended.

"Sorry." She turned back to her washing. "It wasn't meant to sound pithy."

"Of course." She could hear the smile in his voice, but she doubted it was a happy one.

"Doll," she turned with a smile, "why don't you finish dressing and put the napkins and bruschetta out while I finish up in here. And get the plates from the cabinets, yeah?" She rolled onto her toes to peck him on the lips.

He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against him, deepening the kiss.

Rose made small protesting noises. "Mmf—gloves! Mm... Make up..."

"You can fix it," he whispered huskily.

Rose let him kiss her a while longer before pulling back, his hands trailing along her body as she stepped out of his embrace. "Come on. Not now... After company's gone."

His smile was polite and wistful. "Right... Well! I'll dress and I'll be back!" Bounding off, Rose could tell she'd hurt him. Again. Her mum was right. Rose just didn't know what to do about it. She heaved a sigh and turned back to the dishes that needed cleaning.

"And did you hear about Kara in Scheduling? She's got engaged!" Tracie exclaimed.

"Omigod, shut up!" Rose exclaimed in chorus with the other two women, the men's murmurs in the other room providing undertones.

Tracie nodded a smug smile on her face. "And her _ring_? It's _gorgeous_!"

"Her boyfriend, right? Well, he's _super_ rich, so I can't say I'm really surprised..."

"I know, lucky girl... I wish Robby would propose..."

"How long have you two been dating anyway, Sara?"

"Blimey. Three and a half years? It's about time, you know?"

There were noises of agreement as Rose sipped her wine.

"What about you, Rose? You and John finally going to tie the knot? You've been dating for as long as, well... A while."

"Hm?" Rose blinked.

Sara laughed. "Spacin' on us, girl?"

Rose laughed. "Right, sorry. Say again?"

"Sara asked when you and John were going to get married," Nadia repeated.

"What? _Us_? You guys... We're—"

"Practically married already," Sara said.

"Well, yes, but—"

"Come on, Rose, you two live together, work together, everything," Tracie elaborated.

She could feel her cheeks light up. "Oh stop it..."

"Do you want him to propose? Have you talked about it? Do you think he's going to?" the girls chorused, sensing something juicy.

"No, no, no! Stoppit! Really," Rose laughed.

"Or are you one of _those_?" Nadia asked.

"What?"

"Those that don't believe in marriage," she continued.

"What? No. Nothing like that," Rose trailed off. "It's just..." She leaned back on the arm of the sofa and looked into the other room at the men.

"Just...?" someone prompted.

"Oh I don't know," she said breezily. "It's just not something that seemed important. Plus..." She chewed her lip before continuing softly. "I... I don't know if he wants to." Really it was _her_ who didn't know if she wanted to or not...

A couple minutes later, the Doctor's voice was in her ear. "Rose..."

"Yes, sweetheart?" She turned.

"The roast is finished. D'you want me to get it?"

"Mm..." She downed the rest of her glass of wine. "No. No, it's fine, dear. I'll get it." She smiled and pecked him on the cheek casually. She set the glass on the counter and pulled on mits in the kitchen to pull out the roast. The girls' voices weren't quite so quiet as they thought as they discussed 'how darling Rose and John are!' and 'they're definitely going to get married soon!' Rose shook her head. They were in no place to get married.

She shook her head, willing away the serious thoughts. Deal with those later.

Dinner went well and all of the guests went home satisfied. As Rose closed the door to the last, her arm around the Doctor's waist as they waved good-bye like polite hosts, she felt the stress deflate and weariness settle on her shoulders.

"Hey, let's leave everything—clean it up later. Rose?"

She shook him off. "No, it should be cleaned tonight." She turned to the kitchen.

"I'll do it," he said solidly. "Go get changed and get into bed. I'll be a jiff."

"Mm, no. It's fine. I'll do it, sweetheart." She kicked her heels off.

"Rose." It sounded important so she turned. "Rose, what's with 'sweetheart.'"

"What?"

"'Darling.' 'Dear.'" His hands shoved into his pockets, he was tense.

"What are you going on about?"

"You haven't called me by my name in... a long time."

"Of course I have. Please, let's not argue. I'm tired and just want to go to bed."

"Then let me help. Go on. Go to bed. I'll do the cleaning."

"It won't get done how I like it," Rose challenged.

"Yes it will. Now go." He guided her backwards towards the bedroom.

She pushed his hands off her shoulders and shook her head. "No it won't! You never put the cleaner back where it belongs and you leave the sponge sopping wet all over the counter! And you leave the pans out of order, jumbled in the cabinet."

"Rose. Go. To bed. Trust me, Rose."

She sighed and tossed her hair and headed towards the bedroom. "I'll have to re-do everything in the morning anyway..." Marriage? Hardly...

"No, no, no no nonononono..." Rose wailed to herself a week later. Her monthly was late.


	6. Chapter 6

Rose fretted around for a week, waiting, just in case she was just 'late.' She snipped at the Doctor, avoiding him at work, making excuses not to get lunch together. Friday after work she took the car while the Doctor was napping and drove home.

"Rose! What are you doing here, sweetheart?"

Rose dropped her bag and fell into a chair at the kitchen table, dropped her head into her hands and burst into tears.

"Rose! What's wrong? What's wrong, darling?" Jackie rushed over and wrapped her daughter in a hug, rubbing her back. "Rose, tell me what's wrong so I can help!"

"I just don't know what to do! I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do—I don't know..."

"What happened? What's wrong?"

Rose sat up and wiped her face.

"Oh, don't do that, sweetheart; here, use a tissue."

Wiping her eyes and blowing her nose, Rose took a deep breath.

"Now tell me everything. What's wrong?" Jackie took a seat next to Rose, staring intently, worry written across her brow.

"It's... It's nothing... At least, not anything life-threatening, Mum," Rose mumbled. "I... I'm just making a mess of everything!" She slammed her hands on the table. "Mum, I'm screwin' everything up! I'm wreckin' it! Oh God, it's all gonna blow up in my face."

"What is, sweetheart? What's going wrong?"

"You were right, Mum. I _am_ pushing him away. I can't... I can't _handle_ it! He's not _him_! He's not _my_ Doctor! I don't know if I can love him!"

Jackie sat back with a sad smile. "Oh Rose..."

"You don't _get_ it, Mum! If he doesn't have _me_ , then he hasn't got anybody here! He'll be just as alone as I was. And I can't do that to him. I can't."

"Sounds to me, Rose, like you already love him..."

"I don't! Well, I _do_ , but then I _hate_ him! He'll say things that... that the _real_ Doctor said to me once upon a time, and... and I just break! I can't take him saying those things, Mum. He's not the same person, so it isn't right!" Tears streamed down her face.

"Well why do you try to treat him like the same person?"

"Huh?"

"You keep saying they're different." Jackie shrugged. "Treat them like two different people then."

Rose dropped her gaze to the table, thinking. "I never thought of that..."

"'S what mums are here for, dear," Jackie said with a smile.

Looking stricken, Rose continued, "I still... I still don't know if I can do it."

"It's just like him reminding you of an ex-boyfriend. That's all."

Rose gave a short bitter laugh. "An 'ex-boyfriend?' Try 'the one' that got away..."

"Rose..." Jackie took her daughter's hands "I know you've been trying, sweetheart, but you _can_ make this work. He _loves_ you! That's all you wanted, innit?"

"I..." Rose drew back. "I need time, I think. I gotta work this all out in my head."

"And your heart, Rose," Jackie said softly. "You can't keep him guessing. It's cruel."

"I'll take a week off. I have to go... _somewhere_. I need to get away for a little while. You understand, yeah?"

Jackie nodded slowly. "Of course, sweetheart."

"Thanks, Mum." Grabbing her bag as she stood, Rose left. Driving to the Torchwood office, she put in for the week off and headed home to pack a bag.

"Rose?" The Doctor wandered out of the bedroom, his hair a mess, shirt rumpled, and rubbing his eye like a sleepy child. "Where were you?"

"I went to visit my mum, dear." She walked up to him, guilt heavy in her mind. Kissing him lightly on the lips, she smiled. "I'm going to be gone for a week."

This woke him. "Gone?"

"Yeah. I'm taking a personal week. I... I need some time."

"Oh. Okay." He smiled at her.

"I'm not staying here. I'm... I'm going to go away for a week."

"Oh." His smile fell.

"Yeah..." Rose dropped her eyes, moving in, wrapping her arms around him, resting her head against his chest.

He hesitated and then put his arms around her. "Well, have a nice vacation then."

She pulled away, giving him a close-lipped smile. "Of course. I'll be back soon, you know."

Pulling a pouty face, the Doctor folded his arms. "It'll be lonely without you, you know."

Rose had to laugh. She gave him a playful push. "I know. I don't know how you'll get by without me. You better not leave me all the dishes in the sink. Even undomesticated, you can do that much."

He grinned broadly. "Brilliant! Does that mean I can leave my socks lying around?"

Rose rolled her eyes. "Only if you pick 'em up before I get back," she groused. "Now. I got to go get a bag ready." She moved past him into their bedroom and pulled out a duffle, stuffing a week's worth of clothes and stuff into it.

"I love you," the Doctor said, leaning against the doorjam.

Rose's hands paused. "Quite right, too..." she murmured. Flicking a glance at the Doctor through her lashes, she saw the hurt and regret rush across his face.

"Can't let that go, can you... Rose Tyler... I—"

She laughed quickly. "I'm just kidding, you great lug." Looking up, she met his gaze, his soft brown eyes wary. "I love you too," she said quickly.

"Don't go too far, Rose."

"Too far? I don't know where I'm going yet. I'm just going to go to the airport and get a ticket to somewhere. I'll be back in a week. You'll be fine." She finished stuffing belongings into the bag, mindful of the taxi that should be there shortly.

"I know. Just..." He shook his head. "Just come back to me soon."

 _Come back to me soon._ His words echoed through her mind as she sat on the plane to Norway (she knew exactly where she needed to go). He knew. He knew all along. Of course he knew. He was no idiot. A genius. A sometimes surprisingly dense genius, but an intuitive genius who knew Rose thoroughly. She was the idiot, thinking he didn't notice anything. _Come back to me soon_. Rose sighed.

"You alright, dear?"

"Hm?" She looked at the older woman next to her.

"You've been sighing this whole time. Is something bothering you? Not, of course, that it's any of my business, but I know it sometimes helps me to talk things out."

"Ah,... Sorry if I'm disturbing you. It's... Sorry. I've just got a lot on my mind."

"Of course, dear. I'll listen if you care to talk."

Rose smiled politely. "No, thank you. That's fine. It's just some... relational issues."

Eyes crinkling up as she smiled, the old lady chuckled. "I figured it might be something like that. A pretty young girl like you..."

Rose blushed. "My... My boyfriend and I are having issues. Well. _I'm_ having issues. It's not his fault..."

"Oh?"

"I... love him, you see, but he..." Chewing her lip, Rose paused as she tried to think how to explain the situation. "He's almost exactly like an ex-boyfriend of mine who was, you know, the one?"

The old woman nodded for her to continue.

"So while I love this bloke, he's always reminding me of another guy I can't ever have because he... he's dead."

"Oh gracious... I'm so sorry, dear..."

Rose shook her head. "It's just hard, is all. I love this man, but the one I want is unavailable to me, so I feel like I'm settling for this substitute who I just keep hurting because he reminds me of another man. And he knows it. He knows he's only a substitute..."

"You should end it."

"End it?"

The old woman nodded. "That would be better for both of you."

"I can't—We..." She didn't have anything to say. Looking back out the window, she let the conversation die. _Should_ she end it? That wouldn't be right. He stayed here for _her_ after all...

Rose got off the plane and took a taxi out to a little bed and breakfast where she checked in, dumped her gear and then took off on foot towards the coast. A mile and a half later, she happened onto Dårlig Ulv Stranden. Where it had all ended and then begun. Sitting on the cold sand of Bad Wolf Bay, she drew her knees up to her chest. It couldn't keep going like this... Something had to change. Dropping her head on to her knees, Rose closed her eyes...

 _You're the one thing I've always believed in, Rose..._

 _We're the stuff of legend._

 _Lookit you! Having the one adventure I can never have! Rose Tyler, you_ are _brilliant!_

 _I need you, Rose._ He _needs you, and that's very me._

 _He needs you, Rose. He's always going to need you._ -I need _you_ , Doctor...- _I know. I know, but right now he needs you more. And you need him, Rose..._

She woke with a start, tears cold on her cheeks. "Doctor?" She stood quickly, looking around. Her hopes fell when she saw she was alone. Of course she was alone. It was only a dream. She turned to trudge back to the hotel, mulling over her life and man she wanted but couldn't have and the man she had but couldn't quite want.

She returned to the beach the next day. And each following day for the rest of the week.

Two days after she arrived, her monthly came.

"It's the last day I'm coming here, Doctor..." She whispered to the open air. "I can't come back any more.

" _Roooooossseeeeee..._ "

She shook her head. "I have what you left me. And that's all I've got of you." Rose blinked. "All I've got of you..."

" _Rooossee Tyleeeeerrrrrr..._ "

"You called to me, Doctor. You called to me back then. I listened. It was all I had. I think... I think I understand now, Doctor. This is what you've given me. You couldn't give me yourself, so you've given me the next best thing. And better yet, we'll be together. Forever, yeah?" Rose gave a short bitter laugh. "I wanted the stars with you, you know. I wanted all of it. I would have stayed with you forever. Now it's you stayin' with me. Forever. I don't think you'd like it all that much—staying in one place. But... But I guess that shows how much you love me, yeah?" Her voice caught and her eyes burned again as she looked towards the sky to stop the tears. "God... I wish I could have stayed with you and the TARDIS..."

" _Stuff of legend... I need you..._ "

Rose sighed. "I think I can love him," she admitted. "Really love him. For real. Not half-way. You told me to have a fantastic life. And I plan on it. With him. Just to show you. You had faith in me, Doctor. Always. So I'm going to follow through and have a fantastic life. With what you've left for me. Because you wouldn't have done that for just anyone." She turned and headed back towards the road, pausing a minute. "Goodbye, Doctor. I loved you."

" _I love you..._ "

Rose stepped out of the taxi, hurrying into her building, somewhat glad to see London rain hadn't changed. She trudged up the stairs and opened the flat door, dropping her bag by the door and kicking off her shoes, shedding her jacket. "Hello?"

"Hey, sweetheart," her mother's voice called from inside the apartment.

"Mum? What are you doing here? Where's the Doctor?" Rose set the umbrella down to dry.

"He left," Jackie said simply.

Rose's heart stopped beating. "What?"

"He's gone. Why?" Her mother's head was turned towards the window.

"Mum!"

"It's really raining, isn't it…"

"Mum!" Rose panicked. "Answer me!"

"I hope he didn't get caught in the rain."

"What does that _mean_?" Rose waited impatiently for her mother to answer before letting out a frustrated shriek, grabbing her umbrella as she rushed towards the door. With shaking hands, she flipped it open. The umbrella stupidly got caught on the door so Rose dropped it and ran down the stairs to the street, spotting a familiar figure in the rain. She ran.

"Doctor!" She yelled his name over and over again, running through the blinding rain, soaked through within minutes. "Doctor! Doctor wait!"

The figure up ahead paused.

"Doctor please! Please don't leave!" She shouted through the thunder. "Please! Please wait! I love you! I _do_! Please don't leave me!"

The figure turned towards her. "Rose?"

"Doctor!" Rose cried in relief, the tears already mingled with rain. She ran at him, jumping into his arms, wrapping her own around his shoulders, her legs around his waist.

"Rose! Rose, what's—"

"Please don't leave! Please! I love you! I do! I really do! I just want you—I just want you to stay with me!" She kissed him roughly, burying her face in his neck. "I'm sorry! I'm so so sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorryI'msorryI'msorry!"

"Rose…" The Doctor half-laughed, trying to comfort her. "Rose! Shh, Rose, it's alright! I'm here! Shh, it's alright. It's okay; I'm here."

Rose ran her hands over his face, along his cheeks, through his hair, over his shoulders, memorizing his features with her hands, making sure he was real, sobbing.

"Rose! Rose, calm down!" He kissed her gently. "It's alright."

She held to him tightly, sobbing against his shoulder. "Doctor…"

"Rose, let's get back inside. Come on now." He made his way back to their house. Jackie left quietly, giving the Doctor a smile and a nod. He brought Rose upstairs, stripping himself and her of their wet garments and lying her down in their bed. He climbed in next to her and wrapped his arms around her. "Rose. My fantastic Rose." He smiled gently, stroking her hair, pushing the wet locks out of her face. "I love you."

Rose hiccupped softly, burying her face against his shoulder. "I love you, Doctor. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry... Don't ever leave. "

"Never," he agreed softly, pulling the covers up around them both.

She pulled back sharply. "Where were you going just earlier!" She demanded, eyes watering up afresh.

"Rose. Rose…" he said gently, caressing her cheek. "Rose, I was going out to buy you some flowers. That's all. You know. To welcome you home. Your silly earth traditions..."

The tears overflowed as she began sobbing again. "You stupid git! It's all my mum's fault..!"

"Jolly old mum, right?" He grinned like a kid with a new toy, the light back in his eyes.

Rose gasped. "You—! You _planned_ this! You and my mum!" Smacking him on the arm, she rolled away from him.

"Rose... Wait—Rose! I—Rose, I—"

She sent him a sly glance. "Just you wait, Doctor. Your turn's coming."

The panicked expression left and undiluted joy lit his face. "I can't wait!"

"Good. Because we're going to get married."  
He gaped like a fish out of water, eyes wide as panic once again took hold of his features. Rose could see the pure happiness in his eyes though as he bent to snog her senseless. And that was fine.


End file.
